North Carolina, I'm not mad, I'm just disapointed |

North Carolina, I’m not mad, I’m just disapointed

This is not a political blog. It’s not, it never has been, and it never will be. It’s a place to share my stories and photos, and that’s all. But I also write have written, and will continue to write proudly about my home state of North Carolina, despite the disappointing outcome of yesterday’s votes. You won’t hear me saying “Shame on you, North Carolina!” and “That’s it, I’m leaving!” I live in a county that voted against, and my former home county did as well.

My heart is broken for my LGBT friends, whose love and relationships are deemed less than valuable by our state, for LGBT youth who already feels disheartened and hated, for my friends’ daughter who will lose her health benefits because she has two moms instead of one. I’m saddened for the unmarried women who will lose domestic violence protections, for my unmarried friends who will lose medical visitation rights, for the those who will lose jobs when companies move out of our state or tourism dollars don’t come here. But above all, I’m saddened for people who are able to look at another human being and tell them they are less than deserving of basic civil rights, that their love is invalid, that their children are being raised in a dangerous way, and that they do not deserve legal protection.

Many, many of us fought the good fight, and we will continue to do so. This is not over, and we need national support now more than ever. We need people who fought for these rights to stay here, to make this state that we love better for every single one of its residents. Because North Carolina is still a great state.

I was feeling disheartened today, like a crash of sadness after an angry break-up. But, this morning I took my car into the same mechanic I’ve gone to since I was 16, who asked how my dad was and didn’t charge me for something he should have. Then to the grocery store, where the cashier forgot to ring up a woman’s milk, and gave it to her for free, and to grab a quick bite where I chatted with the owner who gave me a free pastry. That’s what this state is about. It’s about slowing down and building relationships with one another, even in urban areas – and that gives me hope. It gives me hope that someday those conversations will lead to a greater tolerance. Let’s make our voices known. Those that you deem less than worthy walk among you daily, they’re people you’ve loved before knowing they were gay. How, and why should that change when you know who they choose to kiss goodnight?

Bigotry and hatred has never been fought by standing on a street corner yelling, “Hey, you’re a bigot!” It’s fought with storytelling, with dialogue, with conversation, and civil debate. Let us not be disheartened, but energized, in the fight for freedom. Let us work towards a better, stronger North Carolina together. This amendment defines marriage, but it does not define love. No one is less than simply because it says so on a piece of paper, and I beg my friends, LGBT and straight allies, to never listen to any voice that says you are not deserving of love.

North Carolina, I’m disappointed in you. Very disappointed. But you still have my love, and my dedication to make you better. If we discount an entire entity based on our perceptions on the whole, how are we better than those who voted for this amendment? Love always begets love.

So this is my commitment, North Carolina. Let’s do this together. Let’s fix this, and make it right.

When we say “y’all,” let’s mean “all y’all, no matter what.”